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I'm not trying to YDIW you here ("You're doing it wrong!), but if you're envious of your friends who are settling down with just one partner, perhaps you'd be more comfortable in an open-not-poly relationship (sex with others okay, romance with others not okay) or a hierarchical poly relationship (your primary partner comes first, your secondary partner[s] come, well, second).Close your eyes and concentrate on every wanton word.As you touch yourself, fantasize that you're feeling his tantalizing fingers caressing your skin.The problem is my siblings and cousins have started having their own children, and seeing this relative—a member of my extended family—with their kids is dredging up a lot of uncomfortable memories.I see this relative frequently, as we all live in the area and get together as a family at least once a month.

The kind of polyamory you're practicing—concurrent and equal romantic partnerships—may not be right for you.As I've pointed out again and again, there are lots of .64s out there and, if you're lucky, you might find a .73 lurking in the pile.When you find a serviceable .64 or (God willing) a spectacular .73, it's your job to round that motherfucker up to "the one." (And don't forget that they're doing the same for you—just as there's no "the one" for you, you're no one's "the one." Everyone is rounding up.) Zooming in on your question, ENBY, you say what you have now—two girlfriends who can't stand each other—is working. While fantasies of escape are normal—we all spend time thinking about the road we didn't take, the door we didn't try, the ass we didn't eat—it's odd to hear someone with two girlfriends wish for one or both to disappear.Phone sex is the perfect way to make a carnal connection when you and your man are apart. Explain to each other exactly what you're doing ("I'm tracing circles on my inner thigh") and how it's feeling ("I'm getting so wet"). Giving good phone is a lot easier -- and more fun -- if you get into a lusty mood before you dial his digits.And while the thought of it may leave you speechless, tantalizing talk isn't as tricky as you think. Share your steamy desires, describe details from your favorite fantasy or tell him, step-by-step, what you wish you were doing to him. Lie back and envision a supercharged bedroom scenario with your guy.

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